«My Gay Church Days» by George Azar

George was your average American kid born to traditional Middle Eastern immigrants. Curious about life but tortured by vicious bullying in middle school, he found what seemed like a solution: evangelical Christianity. It appeared to have the cure for his most “shameful sin.” Believing his homosexual feelings were an abomination before God, he committed his life to a church community that accepted him, conditionally. While hiding the scariest truths about him for fear of losing their love, he went from Bible study to Bible college, committing every aspect of his life to his faith – even forsaking important relationships “for the sake of the Gospel.” Little did he know that the steady trickle of relinquished identity would create a psychological dysmorphia that allowed his oppressors to keep him in dangerous isolation. My Gay Church Days is the true story of a profoundly insecure evangelical pastor who eventually decided enough was enough. After failed relationships, crippling anxiety, and cult-like codependency, George broke away from rigid Christianity to pursue the thing he once found most dreadful and fearful about himself. This book is a crusade of revealing, an exploration of conformity, oppression, awakening, and self-discovery unlike any other. Ultimately, it is also a quest to save other “lost souls” by example, calling others to rise above the expectations of others and accept themselves as they are.