Ugh, Code: A JavaScript Primer for the Slightly Less Enthused

You know what programming is, but you really don't. You most likely think it's this mythical form of communication that only emotionally disabled individuals are able to convey. On the other hand, you've done so badly on your SATs, someone (most likely your mom) convinced you that you're definitely special; you were probably meant to start your own business one day. And since this is the 21st century, your business is gonna be online. So ugh, there will be code.
This book is here to bridge the gap between your delusional self and reality: Learn to code by thyself, homie. Or at the very least know the basics so you don't embarrass yourself when trying to sell a techie on your "disruptive" idea.
Ugh, Code is a brutally honest introduction to programming. It attempts to be light, witty, and inappropriate while walking you through somewhat complex concepts of modern-day programming. It heavily focuses on current web technologies and JavaScript in order to give you an overview of things you can't live without as a future coder.
Maybe you're looking to get a job as a web developer, maybe you want to start your own business, or maybe you're just wise enough to understand coding is becoming a viable skill in all disciplines of life; Ugh, Code is here to keep you motivated while introducing you to the most valuable skill you will have ever acquired.
Get it.