The Cost of Fear: Why Most Safety Advice Is Sexist and How We Can Stop Gender-Based Violence

A violence prevention expert helps targets of gender-based violence discern fact from fiction around what keeps us safe and support social change

Personal safety shouldn’t mean living in fear, nor should it come at the expense of political progress.

Questionable advice to avoid violence, like “don’t go shopping alone,” comes mostly from the police or other men in authority. But gender-based violence is often enacted in the most intimate spheres of our lives, not when we’re out grocery shopping. To stop this violence, we need strategies that are just as intimate.

In The Cost of Fear, nationally recognized violence prevention expert Meg Stone helps readers separate fact from fiction. It’s full of practical, research-based strategies that readers can use to keep themselves and their communities safer. Increased safety comes from developing the skills to resist coercive control, especially from people we know or people in authority, not from complying with rigid rules or avoiding homeless people on the street.

This deeply researched book draws timely connections between personal safety and political change—from Latina organizers in California working to stop sexual violence against night shift janitorial workers to teenage girls who call out double standards.

Work to change laws and change people’s minds is essential, but without practical strategies, the change is incomplete. The Cost of Fear will show us how we can make safety choices that expand our worlds and contribute to the fight for social justice.