Marriage Infidelity: Rebuilding Trust And Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity

Sometimes you have to let people go in order to clear your mind and be your own self again. Do you struggle to decide when would be the correct time to let go? It's when things do not feel right between you and your partner. So, how do you exactly know that something is missing? Perhaps you are merely going through a bad time and the situation isn’t actually your fault or your partner’s fault. Life has ups and downs and during those downs, it’s easy to up and walk away from a situation rather than make a commitment to stay, but strong marriages don’t break up that easily. You need to observe what is happening and decide based upon sound judgment rather than hasty decisions.

We all observe the signs of a bad marriage developing initially, without giving it much thought. When these subtle signs start becoming more and more prominent is when you start thinking whether the two of you are even on the same page. Believe me, it isn’t just you that thinks this way. If the ambiance at home is less than congenial then your partner will be feeling it too. Perhaps there is some way that you can patch things up.

Before marriage, when you are in love, during the “honeymoon period” as it is referred to, you tend to like whatever your partner likes. There is a tendency to do all the things that make your partner happy and avoid the things that would upset them. After tying the knot with the love of your life, priorities and responsibilities change. You need to decide how much of this change is you’re doing and how much of it is because you had unrealistic expectations. If you led your partner to believing that you were interested in everything he/she was, then it’s really going to be difficult to keep this up for a lifetime if you have no genuine interest. Thus, when you move in together, you need to have clear ideas of what your hopes and dreams are and what interests you have in common, rather than simply guessing that you are compatible.

If you notice some major behavioral changes in your partner, like not handling the transformation from a love interest to a spouse well and not leaving behind their bachelor or spinster ways, you must take a stand for yourself and make sure that your partner is aware of your unhappiness. There is no point in telling all your friends about it and leaving the last person to be informed the most important person you should be discussing it with – your spouse. Often we complain about partners but we let the thoughts fester rather than doing anything concrete about them. If your thoughts are that negative, you have nothing to lose by airing them. When you do, the outcome of discussions with your partner can be mutually agreed upon. However, if your spouse is unaware of your dissatisfaction within the marriage, it’s hardly fair on your spouse to up and leave without discussing why.